The Little Years

You welcome a child into the world with pain and tears, you fall madly in love with them, and vow to fiercely protect them from harm. You watch them grow and, yes, the days sometimes feel so long. You lose LOTS of sleep, wipe noses and bottoms, fill sippy cups millions of times, and pray for just 10 minutes of alone time as you sit on the toilet, with tiny fingers poking out from underneath the door. Then they are off to kindergarten, middle school, and finally you watch as they graduate high school…all in the blink of an eye. Has it really been 18 years since I’ve had a baby and toddler depending on ME for their survival, because it feels just like yesterday…and a million lifetimes ago.

Momma, I’ve been there. I had the “easy” baby that made me think I was really doing this parenting thing right. She slept soundly in her swing while I vacuumed under it without a peep. I also had the “hard” baby that cried EVERY.SINGLE.TIME I tried to put him down…to do anything.

I had a cute curly headed toddler that could entertain herself but would destroy a room in doing so. I also had the adorable brown-eyed, blondie, with a sensory disorder, that got overstimulated in various public situations and would melt down and turn into the Hulk, with strength to match.

Friend, I know the little years are exhausting, but I promise, before you know it, those days will be gone and that little spunky little girl and/or wild little boy will be practically grown-ups.

If you are in the season of littles, I have a few things I’d like to share with you:

Parenting will sanctify you! If you haven’t figured this out yet, you will. We are sinful from the very start and selfish to boot. Nothing shows us our sin and selfishness like parenthood. To a certain extent, we are used to having things our own way before having kids. We get a full night’s sleep on most nights. We get to finish a complete meal without being interrupted or having someone want to eat off our plate. We can go to the bathroom completely alone and take our time doing whatever it is that needs to be done. After having kids, our life is not the same as it was before. We have a little human that grew inside of us, depending on us for EVERYTHING. They literally would not survive if we didn’t put ourselves aside and dedicate the majority of our time to them. The Bible says in Luke 9:23 “And He was saying to them all, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.’” To be a true disciple of Christ we MUST deny ourselves…our wants, our preferences, our desires. Parenting is the perfect place to practice self-denial and loving someone more than we love ourselves. This will sanctify you daily because it will take a daily renewal of commitment and dependance on the Lord. In fact, If we are honest, it might take a minute by minute, cry to our Savior, for help. Parenting is so extremely hard…yet so very beautiful and transforming.

It’s ok to ask for help! You DO NOT have to have it all figured out or have everything under control. There are plenty of mommas, who have been exactly where you are right now, who’d love to help you. Maybe you are a person that doesn’t have help from your family after the arrival of a new baby. I would say with much confidence that there are women, like me, out there that would love to help you. I am in a season where my kids are almost grown and very independent. They don’t need me in the same ways they used to. Because of this, I have extra time to help new mommas. Don't be afraid to ask someone to come play with your toddler as you get into your new routine with a newborn. You could also ask an older momma to come hold your new baby while you shower, eat lunch, or nap. Also, don’t forget those tasks that might seem trivial to you. Put your pride to the side and ask another to help you fold laundry, load the dishwasher, or fix you lunch. Most of us older women would feel honored to help you in these ways. In fact, we SHOULD be taking care of each other as members of the body of Christ. In Galatians 6:2 it says “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Allow someone to be a blessing to you. One day you will be in a place to do the same for another momma.

This too shall pass! Momma, I know right now you are in the trenches. Your house is probably not as tidy as you’d like, you are drinking cold coffee that you poured hours ago when you thought everyone was still sleeping. Laundry is piled up. You are covered in spit up, your hair is in a very messy bun, and you haven’t even had time to think about a shower let alone take one in about 3 days. Some of you have a baby that cries A LOT and you aren’t sure why. You may have a toddler that is NOT happy about the new baby in the house and your heart is breaking because you just want them to love each other. Whatever the thing is that you are dealing with, it feels very intense and overwhelming right now. In my opinion, the years of having babies and toddlers is the most challenging season you will face as a mother. I don’t say this to discourage you but to encourage you. It gets easier. You will learn a new rhythm for your family and things will start running smoothly again. Yes, there is a learning curve with every new baby that is added to the family, but you will make a new normal each time. As my children grow, I enjoy them more and more. I love my big kids! My favorite thing about them right now is when they are blasting music while singing and dancing as they do the dinner dishes together. But…I understand, you aren’t there yet. Just remember that children are a heritage from the Lord as it says in Psalm 127:3-5. This is a tough season but such a blessed one as well. Remember this season will not last forever.

Being a parent is not for the weak. It can make your heart so full one moment and rip your heart right out of your chest the next. But it’s so worth it!!. Cherish the little years. You never know when it will be the last time that they need you to brush their teeth, tuck them in, or get them some juice. It WILL happen…this I can promise.

BUT also, look forward to the big years!! Teenagers are witty, independent, and lots of fun…most of the time. Watching humans, that I carried inside of me, grow from babies, to children, to teens, and then to adults has been one of the greatest joys of my life.

I don’t have it all figured out as a parent. In fact, I’m learning new things every day, but I’m so thankful that the Lord has blessed me and allowed me to be called “momma”.

--Kassy